Fallen Leaves

One whole year.

Sometimes fall catches me off guard. One day it’s all so green, next, the leaves are blowing all around you.

It was one year last month since my mother passed. It was a difficult month. Lost in thought. Lost in memory.

I remember too much every day. I don’t cry enough. Maybe I am still in shock that Creator had taken everyone I cared for the most away from me. From us.

I think of funny memories. And I get snapped back into the now. I think to myself, “everyone in that memory is dead.”

Grief is like the fall leaves. They were once vibrant and here in the present. Next they are falling, flying all around me, beautiful.

I want to write pages upon pages about the people who have passed on. All their lil ways and personalities. Their story. The memories I keep.

It’s too much to think about today. Maybe in the future when I am old, when it’s fall again, I will give grief the time.

Today, I just want to enjoy the changing of seasons. The cycle of Creator’s love.

-Decolonize Myself