This stems from past posts. Black community would tell me that this post or that post is anti-Black. Of course my bias and ego would not allow me to see it. So I would begin to question and doubt their claim.
They would then call me anti-Black. My defenses went up and made things worse.
I am grateful for people who pulled me into the dm's to explain to me in a way that I could finally comprehend what the community was trying to convey.
I will always be grateful for those few.
Of course I try and try again. I fail time and time again.
So there were ideas about how to approach the topic. I had wanted to address it in a way that was true to my heart. However the Twitter s.j.w. brigade occurred and the "cancel culture" mob began. Then people proclaimed my anti-Blackness without actually providing context. That is the next story I want to write.
I wrote this as well soon after. This was the original idea I had to begin writing on such a sensitive topic. Some will always hate who they think I am while others will show grace and teach me who I could be. Either way I know I can't win and that isn't why I am documenting it now.
I am the one who holds myself accountable. I have to do the work in facing myself. I have to do the inner work. So I am on that journey, it might not be the path my haters want me to be on but it's a path nonetheless.
I wanted to share this because it is true - this will always come up. I would rather be as transparent as I can be then be shamed or publicly humiliated.